SeCrEt DiaRy

CIP - community involvement programme

2008-06-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

We had to do CIP again because we lack the 6 hours needed. eh, where's the lacking part? The last time I did it, I did it with all my might. -_-

I was with Fazlyn this time. Guess what? Long story cut short, we both got drenched and our attitudes started to sour. Thanks to the man(he's a foreigner - see they are actually much nicer than the typical group of singaporeans who don't give a damn) who gave us the umbrella, Thanks to the people that donated on their own without us asking.

I didn't blog to say my thanks and end it there. I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT SOME OF THE ENCOUNTERS WE HAD!

We were in Boon Lay Shopping Centre, and Fazlyn decided to start asking for collection there. She did, she first asked this lady that was walking in front.

Picture this! A lady(aged around her 30s to 40s) and she's probably looking down as she walk. A girl comes up to you - she's in uniform mind you - and gently asks you, "Do you want to donate?"

AND GUESS WHAT THE LADY DID? She got startled and she turned around to go to the other side, making that 'tsk' sound and glaring at us as she leaves.

I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL DID FAZLYN DO? All she did was say that question in a gentle tone, and that gave her the scare of her life? It almost seems that we were playing a scary prank at her.

SERIOUSLY.

PEOPLE! WAKE UP! We are ASKING for your donation and not demanding them from you. If you don't want to, just say a simple 'no'. There's no need to look another way, turn around and go another way, or simply stare at us.

The number of nice people in singapore is slowly limiting itself. Not that I'm saying that the people that don't donate isn't nice.

It's infuriating to have to stand there and continuously ask for donation though they ignore you. Have a little bit of empathy and simply say no or shake your head if you don't want to. WHAT DID YOU THINK WE'D DO? Smack you and take your purse/wallet and put all your coins in the tin? I'd like to do that though, teach you all a lesson.

Fazlyn was saying that if you were in a crowded area, just hold the tin out and everyone will move out and give you the space you want. Anything they'd do just so they don't need to donate.

FREAKS.

I know, just because I donate doesn't mean others should, but all I'm hoping for is people to be at least a little polite and decline instead of glaring at us for asking in a nice tone.

forever

2008-06-05T06:09:00.000-07:00

This just got in my head, and I haven't blogged for like what? ... 2 days? so I'm just randomly blogging this here. Keep my blog fresh eh?

I hear the word forever being used all the time. Okay, maybe not all the time but at least most of the time. It's used so casually as if it actually means nothing. Well, to me at least.

Like, for relationships (couple, of course),
The guy would say, he'd love the girl forever. Or maybe it's the girl in another case, I shouldn't be sexist you know.
Anyway back to my example,.... and you know what would happen next? The couple goes seperate ways. Typical for a group of couples, I can't say all because there are that last super long, and there are that last literally forever.

I'm not targetting couple relationships only. Friends also tend to do the same, don't they?

Fancy telling each other, let's be BFF(best friend forever) and then what happen after they get promoted to different schools or better yet, just different classes? The next day, everything's still the same, but as time pass by, everything changes and guess what? You're no long BF(best friend), let alone F(forever).

I'm not actually doing this blog because this happened to me, though it has, but it's not like I give much hoot about it now than I did before. I've managed to adapt this way of pretending to move on, though I do think about it from time to time.

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OH CRAP! I should have gone to bathe already! It's past 9pm! IMAGINE THAT?! I'm suppose to be helping myself rid of my insomniac habit and what do I do? Forget about my goal in life (ridding of that insomniac habit of mine, first) and gone and blog about irrelevant things in MY life. Sheesh, it's so typical of me to rant on nothingness.

[abrupt]
bye
[/abrupt]

I'm home today!

2008-06-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

Like Yippee! Right? NO! No yippee!

There's still school tomorrow and worse, it's FNN - food and nutrition - the subject I simply "adore". You see, I've done my execution already, and my god it was well done. In my own opinion.

Tomorrow what I'll have to do for FNN would be the evaluation. What's the difference you may ask? Well, you ~~dingbat~~, it's the difference of the spelling and that execution means executing it(process) and evaluation means evaluating the executed process. GET IT NOW? You non-FNN ~~dingbats~~ people.... make my life so "peaceful". Why do I have to suffer it and you don't? Terribly unfair, I must say.

Anyway, the reason I'm home today is because the teacher's in my school have to attend some ~~dumbass shitty long~~ course to benefit them and enhance their teaching capabilities! That's good news for us nerds isn't it? *mimics star trek joyous actions*

The other reason why I'm home today is I didn't get picked to go for that Singapore Polytechnic Course thing, the thing that made me disappointed before but not anymore because I think I'll pick staying at home to slack over going there and be tired for the whole day anytime. Yes, I'm a slacker shit bombom. :D

Actually there's another reason why I'm home.....today......it's because I chose to stay at home over accompanying my family to some place I don't really care about right now. I'm extremely reluctant to step out of the house. However, today I might have to, but its timing is near evening.

(inserts slacker's lazy grunts here)

I confess I'm an extremely lazy girl and that I'm never, even in the future, ever going to be associated with the terms: neat freak, lady-like, graceful.... and probably many more.

I didn't go to school today

2008-05-29T04:29:00.000-07:00

It's a blend of bits of 'pontang' and 'giddy-ness'. I know I could still go to school but I took my slight giddy-ness to another level instead of getting up. I'm tired and I badly want to sleep. I'm insomniac so it's really hard for me to get to sleep at night, no matter how early I decide to lie on my bed.

Anyway, since I didn't go to school today, I'm bored! Hence I'll do a post on the craziest things I want done. Though it keeps changing as time passes.

Craziest things I want done
Actually be a witness to someone's accident/suicidal case. (I
know, it's mental of me isn't it?)
~~Donate Blood~~ Done!
Get operated on. (Which will actually happen since I'm a woman,
I'll get pregnant and they'll have to operate on me, right?)
Stay in a hospital.
See an actual spiritual being. (If I'm brave enough)

Okay, that's pretty much it. Like I said, it changes as time passes by. So in the future, it might get more.

Blood donation

2008-05-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

YES! I donated blood! One of the craziest things I want to do is actually done and slashed. I never blogged about the craziest things I want done because I think they're really freaky and normal people can't take it. Maybe I'll blog about it either at the end of this post (if i survive) or in another post.

Yeah, back to the point, I donated blood! (:

I was blabbering nonsense and repeating myself as the time to get injected with anesthetic came. I'm a tad bit terrified of injections, you see.

Turns out the anesthetic injection did feel like an ant bite! Problem is there was too many ants. Sheesh.

Everything is fine though, except for the fact I almost fainted inside the MRT train on the way to Sembawang. I had no choice but to sit on the floor (I was standing). Feeling dizzy and a little 'puke-y', I sat down on the nearest seat, which was the floor in my situation. My vision was totally fogging up, for those that knows the "sharp" tool in photoshop, my vision was being sharpened! And for those that don't, try pressing your eyes hard, as if you're poking them BUT don't press them too hard till you cause blood to gush out, anyway, that's the vision that I had, the small white squares or something. Try try!

I should really get to sleep because I'm all lethargic and giddy.

P/s: I'm planning to go for blood donation in the next 3 months again, which would be after 20 august 2008. Want to come? Definitely those keen on doing deeds will come right? Then again, pfft.

New skin for my blog

2008-05-25T01:20:00.000-07:00

I made(underlined and bold) this new PINK skin for my blog because I tire of things easily. Depending on the things, obviously. Yes, no kidding, I made this blogskin. Don't forget I was once a blogskin-ner, the one that kept making new blogskins for people to download even if I had no inspiration and even if my photoshop skills sucked badly.

Well, that was then. See how much I've improved? ...not much really..

Anyway, tomorrow is the O level Mother Tongue paper and fortunately for me, I don't have to take it. No it's not because I took my paper the year before, but because I am taking .... um..... Chinese Language Basic (otherwise known as CLB for Completely Lost Beanbags, beanbags meaning us okay I made that up). The CLB paper would be during my official O level papers. So when everybody's done with their MT, I'm there doing it.

I haven't really got much to blog about. To put it simply, my life is utterly boring. I was thinking of creating a short sob story for people to read but for that, I have no inspiration at all, so if I forced myself to create one, it will be a sob story indeed. If you get what I mean......oh... you don't? ah, never mind.

Great news! I managed to persuade my parents to pay for my library fine - which is now $50.50 - but they're procrastinating. I couldn't believe that they, my parents, would actually procrastinate, but I suppose that explains my procrastinating genes. Question answered!

Actually, given a choice, I would never ask my parents for the money to pay for it but because I reserved this blood and chocolate book and I horribly want to read it, so I asked them to pay for me. I only have like 10 bucks right now. I'm not much of a saver.

I know, there's the movie blood and chocolate but I wikipedia-ed it and the plot of the movie is almost completely different from the novel. So now, I'm convinced that the novel is way better than the movie and given my imagination, it's definitely going to be better than the movie.

Hopefully I'll be able to pay for the fine as soon as possible. Fingers crossed!

Thank you God.

2008-05-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

My mother survived the operation and I'm really glad about that. (:

Moody

2008-05-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

I've been moody these few days.

I got like a lot of reasons as to why. I want to tell my friends but it's like I don't know how they'll react to it so I dare not. I mean, what if I bring out a negative attitude out of them? Won't I feel more low than I already am?

I don't know.

Sometimes, I suppose I just wanted life to be easier.

Scars disappear don't they? My tear glands' empty.

Intensive MT; yuki

2008-05-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately I don't have Intensive MT, so I'm stuck doing other things other than doing my MT. Sometimes, I suppose, I wish I do have Intensive MT. I know, right? I'm mental.

I'm pretty sure my hatred for FNN is a given, and everyone I know knows it. Right? *looks at "Someone"*

I just dislike FNN. No, actually I don't dislike the whole FNN thing, just the whole coursework part which happened to be 60% of our grade, so even if I do well for my theory, I still fail... if I don't do my coursework that is.

Wait, stop! I'm not going to type 1 post dedicated solely to FNN - my hated subject.

Let's see, nothing interesting happened to my life so nothing to type about my life. I never thought about what kind of thing do I want to post before I started this. So pretty much, this is totally not called for, didn't plan it whatsoever. So never mind, let's get back to ranting about FNN.

I'm in Computer Lab 1 now, unfortunately there's only 3 FNN students from my level so we're like behind all the students being good, doing our coursework. (: I'm good okay?

The teacher is showing the 2n2 students the movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks, the one I wasn't able to catch in the Cinemas, the one that slipped my mind after some time. I can't concentrate on my coursework because my head automatically turns towards the screen and my eyes immediately focuses on the movie being showed.

It's alright though, since I have 6 more hours in the coming days. ):

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UPDATE/EDIT:

Yuki, my 7 years(been with me duration) turtle died last night/yesterday.

I think I'm in denial to not cry about that turtle who's been with me through all my hard times.

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That's the way I roll.. for now ;)

2008-05-19T00:42:00.000-07:00

85 words

Speedtest

Steven lim

2008-05-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

5 minutes ago, I was reading a stomp thread about this guy getting pawned by the other one because of some conflict.. blah blah..

And around the final pages, someone mentioned steven lim and even posted his web link there, including a quote from his website.

Since I was curious, mainly bored, so I clicked the link and visited the site. Not that I'm supporting him because, ew, he ruined my eyes because of his audition in Singapore Idol. I was watching Singapore Idol Audition because a friend's sister auditioned and of course, I want to see if she'll be on tv, unfortunately no. Anyway, I was watching the auditions and then in came him! He started singing and ALSO started stripping! Like, what the hell? Seriously, a desperado for attention only. However, I suppose he was smart enough to do that on Local TV because I'm pretty sure all he wanted was attention from the world. Unfortunately, he's mental to think he'd get good attention. Too thick skinned as well. Like who calls themselves the "most handsome guy in the worl"? He is in serious need of a psychiatrist before he drowns himself in his self-praises. Then again, that wouldn't be that bad, I mean, once his drowned .... well, we're free. Aren't we?

Right I've gone a little off my point here.

Anyway, as I was looking at his site, because I was CURIOUS AND BORED, I saw two pictures of him with quotes that made me puke like there's no tomorrow.

Good things must share!

That is not, I repeat, IS NOT good things that have to be shared! In fact, these are the things that had to be burned! AH! MY EYES!

Looking at the title of his website, "Welcome to The World's Most Handsome Guy Official Fan Web", it made me puke even more. I could see my breakfast splash to the ground, and I ate breakfast yesterday!

Seriously, in what way is those two picture.... nice looking? and nice looking is already a nice word to use. He looks so grotesquely deformed with the hairstyle and that skinny frame.

Yes I know i'm nowhere near the pretty side either, but at least I don't go saying that I'm the prettiest girl alive right? Seriously, if i started saying that, my brain have just been meddled with by the aliens that took Steven lim's brain.

Since when did skinny bodies and weird nerdy hairstyle become popular? He look like a 'manorexic' (anorexic man). I can't believe he even dared to pose for photos with a lame boxer. If he wanted to look more 'man' then he should have gone and wore a more neat looking boxer than one that is usually bought from 'pasar malams'.

Even my dog looks cuter than him! Yes, I actually have the evil guts inside me to compare him to an animal, an animal that has a higher calibre than him. I had to say the truth, right?

Not forgetting this phrase from his web:

Sincerely looking for a girlfriend, no matter you are black, white or
orange. As long you r pretty, nice, faithful n gorgeous & RICH.
Dun hesitate to adopt me. Application to be my girlfriend/stead now open! Whilst
stock last!

Now don't get me started on this................ Wait, I will!

Not only is he thick-skinned but he is also shallow. Typing "no matter you are black, white or orange" does not mean he is not the least bit superficial because he totally contradicts himself. The girl has to be pretty and gorgeous? Aren't those two almost the same meaning? Asking a girl to be pretty and gorgeous and RICH? I think he's beyond repair, he have absolutely lost it. If a girl that is pretty and gorgeous and rich dates him, I can only conjure two things from it.

1) The girl is blind, definitely lost her eyesight, and hopefully she never regains them if they both get married or she might get a heart attack.

2) The girl was drugged.

I know, right? Well, I could conjure more but I had to spare him at some point right? Or else, i'm no better than the grim reaper. Easily delivering people to their graves.

I'm pretty sure I can go on but I think I'll stop here before I vomit AGAIN.

(: I'm still a nice person, alright.

School

2008-05-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

My results for my MYE was terrible. Really really terrible. So terrible that it makes the ground tremble! (It was the first thing that came to my mind)

Anyway, I failed most of my subjects! The only paper I actually passed was English and even the grade isn't good enough to fulfil my dream this year. C5.

I aimed to get A1 for most of my subjects this year, not aiming to be the top student among Singapore but just a top student in my school. However, with all these results I'm getting that aim is impossible to reach.

Though my results were terribly awful, I was still proud of one paper. That would be Paper 1; English; Section 1; Free Writing Composition.The question I chose, honesty. I got 20/30, that would be the first again in all these 3 years I've been in Swiss Cottage (Sec 3 to Sec 5).

I would love to type it out here but I've yet to keep the paper, the teacher needed to do a marker's report. So definitely, I would type it out here when I get the paper for you all to read. (:

Only that made me proud of myself, the rest made me think I'm just a loser which maybe is a little true but who really would tell me, eh?

---

I bought a Drawing Pad recently, though I'm an FNN student and not an ART student, and I started drawing on it. Like duh? Who writes stories on drawing pads?

I have 4 picture to share, and here they are. (:

All definitely drawn by me, and only me. It's not perfect but I love to gaze upon these drawings of mine. First time in my life, I actually drew something that I absolutely adore.

I found money!

2008-05-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

I found money on the ground and being the good person that I am, I gave it to the station people - the ones working in the MRT(Bukit Gombak).

Some of you probably are thinking that it was dumb of me to do that, but I can't help it, I just like to do good deeds. (:

Curious about the amount of money it was? REALLY CURIOUS?

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It was 1K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know!! Probably most of you are already thinking that I was dumb to return it right?? But I beg to differ!

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Pity isn't it? To return such a large amount of money. Well, I have a picture of it that I got from the web, to mourn over such loss.

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Saddening isn't it?

HAHA!
Initially, I wanted to keep it. Fazlyn said it cost at least $1, if I change it to singapore currency. However, there was this lady who kept staring at us, as I pick the note up from the ground. She stared at us with such cold greedy eyes. I think she wanted the note too, probably thinking it's 1000, not really seeing what currency it is.

So I went down with Fazlyn, with the intention of giving it to the station staff, so I ended up doing just that!

The guy - he was in charge at that time - was chuckling when I gave him the note, saying someone dropped it.

YOU KNOW WHAT HIS REPLY WAS?

Staff: You sure you don't want to keep? It cost no more than 5 cent at least. *laughs*
Me&Fazlyn(both surprised): REALLY??
Staff: Yes *laughs*
Me: I thought it cost at least a dollar.
Staff: One singapore dollar is at least 6000 rupiah.

Fazlyn and I left them afterwards laughing and joking with each other.

I can't remember who said who already, it was all blurred out after because we laughed all the way up the stairs and back to the platform.

Fazlyn: So it's like we're returning them a 5cent coin! *does silly actions*
Me: Ya, like what's the point right? "Here, someone dropped their 5 cent, I'm giving it to you"

It's a little stupid right to return a 5 cent coin? I mean, come on, let's not bull shit around and say it's still a good deed. How many can a 5 cent coin buy, at this time of life? Like, maybe 1.... or half a something.

Anyway, hey, at least we returned a "1000" note worth of money(rupiah). That's considered as still good right?

Uh, I'm not doing good things just for the sake of it, I just like it. (:

Totally mixed post

2008-05-13T01:30:00.000-07:00

First off, I'll start it with a
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY
wish to FazlynY

Remember I posted about her birthday? Well, I'm going to details about it.

Like I said, it was a small party....

Hence there were only what 6 people present there, including the birthday girl. There would have been 7, if the other came, but she had something on, so understood.

We didn't have much food and drinks, in fact, we lack the drinks for the 6 people. There were only 4 cans of drinks and 6 people were present! All cans were bought based on the love(drinks) of each person. So tell me, how? I'm not too sure about that, but I think everyone just drank their own or shared one or two. Definitely no one shared mine, because I love to drink Sprite, not much in my group likes to drink it. Sprite is the best luh and all those who agree with me, comment! Click that small "comment" link at the bottom of the post. (:

I manged to actually snap a candid shot of the birthday girl drinking! I know what you're thinking, why is she so excited about snapping a photo of a person drinking? How utterly lame. BORING. NEXT! But you see, this was the only picture I took because I don't know what the heck happened to my so called "photographer" life.

Right then, now, to go to even smaller details of this party.

I was the organizer of this party, meaning, I invited all and asked all about it. Reena, Fa'izah, Jasmine, Juani helped make this a possibility. Reena and Fa'izah bought the cake(I think, if I'm wrong correct me, because I think my memory fails me) and I ate it! Well, not only me, they ate the cake too, and left a piece for Nusriin.

I know it's politically incorrect for me to say this but the party was dull - lifeless. Fazlyn knows this already, but I still hope she pardon me for blogging about it.

I suppose everyone still had a little bit of that exam fever(the bad fever) and thus, un-enthusiastic about the whole thing. Frankly, that's what I think, my opinion.

However, the good thing about it is that I suppose, in one way or another, we had fun. The ghost stories, the cake, the birthday song singing, and the shifting to another hut because two men came over requesting our "dance off" continue. Like, who would continue? Maybe you but not Fazlyn and certainly not me.

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Okay, this is what I've just thought.

You see, Fat people are lucky that they are fat. Though there are that numerous amount of downsides.

I'll state my facts as to why fat people should consider themselves lucky.

No one will stalk them

I watch shows - because i'm such a drama addict - that has stalkers stalking the pretty actresses and maybe actors. These pretty actresses, or actors, are usually slender, shaped like an hour glass - slim.

Now how about those not so appealing in looks ones? They don't get stalked! However, they do have pretty best friends, these best friends would then turn to their "un-appealing" friends for advice.

See! Fat people don't get stalkers, but instead they get beautiful people as friends! Is that bad? Not so, right?

Fat people have a lesser risk of getting raped

I don't really see much of newspaper articles being about fat people who got raped in an alley, or fat people getting rape in their home. No right? What I see is this beautiful 18 year old daughter, probably slim because that's what I conjure out of the picture given, getting locked up in a dungeon and getting raped over and over by her demonic father, who apparently thinks he should be given credit for keeping her alive. See the famous Xiaxue's blog for this.

Fat people are harder to kidnap

I just thought about this one.

But it's true isn't it? Kidnappers have to kidnap someone swiftly, so no one can be the witness but imagine having to kidnap someone fat. Gosh, I think even if they were able to kidnap the person quickly, they'd still get caught easily by the police because their vehicle would look lopsided - one up and one down - from the outside and the fastest speed of the vehicle would be 10km/hour.

Fat people still can wear all sorts of clothes

Haven't you seen shops that put up signs that goes,

"Sizes from S to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL"

So what makes you think, fat people's closet is limited? Pff, You're so wrong!

See, this is why I'm proud that I'm ff....ffffff...............fffffff...........fffffffffffffffff........

Okay, I can't say/type it.

So i'll type this instead,

I'm thin, nnnnn........nnnnnnnnn............nnnnnnnnnnn...............oooo....

ugh! I can't do either!

Forget it, my body structure is like an alien, it's wiggly and jelly-like.

P/S I'm not thin, neither am I 456123 pounds. What's my weight? (:

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Right, not forgetting to mention, I have another dog in my house.

Name: FHUENDYHSS(I've no idea how to spell it) Pronounced as Island(without the d)
Age: 3 YEARS OLD
Breed: Jack Russell Terrier
Gender: Female

Reason as to why I don't know, is because this family gave it to us because they admitted to not having time to take care of it.

WAIT! Not forgetting DADA
NAME: DA DA
AGE: 4 YEARS OLD
BIRTHDAY: 10 MAY 2004 (BELATED BIRTHDAY DADA!)
BREED: JACK RUSSELL TERRIER
GENDER: MALE

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Okay, I have a problem.
My Dada wants to bite Islan all the time, is it possible for them to get along? Do they just need time? HOW TO MAKE THEM GET ALONG?

Fazlyn's birthday celebration

2008-05-09T03:28:00.000-07:00

It's Fazlyn's birthday on mother's day, May 11, and of course, I'm pretty sure we can't really go out on that day because it's mother's day. We'd be at home, resting our behinds on the couch as we wait for our parents to come back, so that we'd be able to go out and have dinner together. YIPPEE! Sounds like fun right?

Anyway, we -Elora(me!), Reena, Fa'izah, Jasmine, Juani - celebrated an advance 'Fazlyn birthday party'. She, Fazlyn, totally have no clue about it. See how good an actress I am! Hollywood! You don't know what you're missing.

It was a simple celebration. Not as extravagant as Fa'izah's surprise party but still it's a party. Better have one, than none at all, right? Next stop, Jasmine's birthday.

I'm not really going into details about what happened during the party. Too bad you weren't invited, VIP personals only. Except Nusriin, since she had something on. She's excuse. EXCEPT FOR YOU GUYS. NANANANA~ I bet if Shirley reads this, she's going.. "lame"

I'm already broke, you know. I managed to save $60 and it's already been reduced to a measly $4. On sunday, is Mother's day. What am I suppose to do then eh?

Well, I probably would buy a slice of cake, since there's not enough ingredients to bake my cookie cakes*!

Cookie cakes = Cakes that turned out to be as hard as a cookie.

I hate myself

2008-05-08T03:40:00.000-07:00

I actually did something to myself that is totally making me detest myself.

Something that I terribly dislike and yet I did it to myself!

An incident happened last night.

I cried too much and for too long.

After a while, I just got drowned in my sorrow.

Mink's birthday again.

2008-05-07T00:14:00.001-07:00

Mink’s birthday!

I had my chemistry exam at the start of the day, and boy, I know I’m destined to fail my MYE this year. Most of the questions are only 1 marks, and those I know how to answer are – unfortunately – one mark ones.

Ah, enough about that. Though it’s only one short paragraph, eh.

I met Daniel today, a friend of Shirley and Mink’s, and met Mink afterwards.

Okay, before I go on, I must say something first.

If Mink appeared before us earlier, she probably would have seen Shirley also. SEE MINK, next time must come on time, you wouldn’t know what you might miss.

And ... back to my story. Right.

Since Shirley had something on, she had to leave first.

We ended up in Mink’s house. Mink played Audition, for a while, then me, for some time, while Daniel played on his PSP.

Blah blah blah, story cut short.

It was fun, and well interesting.

Watched this video about a girl that had done intercourses 300 times and she’s only 15 years old. I’m turning 17 this year and not once have I had sex! I don’t know whether to be elated by that information or to feel shameful that someone young have beaten me to it. Okay, I know... I’m super elated by that information. I don’t know about others, but I’m damn happy to be a virgin. HAH!

Okay, I turned to blogging for one reason, I wanted to rant about something embarrassing that happened to me.

I don’t think anyone realized and let’s keep it that way.

I went to Mink’s house right? Guess what? When we went to the living room, because mink was going to blow the candles off the cake her parents bought her, I saw myself in the mirror.

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No, not because I got scared off by my looks

BUT, because I saw that the zipper of my shorts was open! Tell me about that, right!

I tried to zip it up, and guess what? It’s freaking spoilt! Ugh!
So I asked mink for scissors so that I can manually fix it, but she said she didn’t have one. Eek! The horror now begins.

As I sat on her bed, thinking about how to get home without people looking at me holding my shorts or just plain staring at me for my ignorance – they think I purposely left it that way, or maybe. I took the opportunity and started opening her drawers, and I managed to find a solution to my humiliating situation.

.
.
.
SAFETY PINS!
.
.
.

I love the guy that created the safety pins! Thanks.... YOU! (:

Mink

2008-05-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to MINK!

You're 17 already! (:
Super way ahead of me and shirley.

Enjoy your bright day today!! (:

Emo-Weepo

2008-05-05T03:16:00.000-07:00

Unanswered calls, tears welling up in eyes.
I think today might be like last night.

I'm giving up already.

Sleepover

2008-05-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

The word that gives you the opportunity to enjoy the whole night.

Mink and Shirley came over to my house, slept there and slacked there - well somewhat like that.

It was really fun. Getting together after all these years, It's really great to have friends you know since young. Then again, the greatest thing about friends is them being there for you whenever they can - they're the ones that stays forever.

My whole weekend was booked by them. We went to sun plaza only, though Mink craved for KBOX.

She thought of a business opportunity, you know.
---
Words are definitely re-phrased. Pardon it, my memory is poor when it comes to recalling the exact words. UNLESS, it's really really special - sincere confessions and such.

Mink: We open our own Kbox here in Sembawang lah.
Shirley: SMLK
Mink: Yea, call it SMLK
Elora - thinking - : Shirley Mink Lala Karaoke?
Shirley: Si mi lai kay (I THINK, I FORGOT. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG)
- laughters & things i really forgot -
Mink: Can have lounge for people to sing in, let everyone hear and also rooms for those private ones. Can earn a lot of money! $10 an hour.
Shirley: Like that, we're suffering a loss leh. -she's the one in accountancy course now, her words are like gold when it comes to business-
Mink: Then $15 (OR I DON'T KNOW, $20) an hour lah.

--- END.
Actually got much more, but if i tell everything, then in the future we cannot open such a business right? See, got confidential bits.

Anyway, long story cut short, my weekend was hell lot of fun. Heck, I might do it again! When we're all free and when my mother finally allows me to sleepover at others. Really, I want to experience sleeping over at other people's houses! Can be a guest!

I have a dog!

2008-05-02T18:11:00.001-07:00

I tried updating before but apparently, it didn't work out so well. So cross your fingers and hope this get updated, if not, you'll see me hanging from through my doorknob and you know i'm not really floating.

I have a dog! The name's DaDa. Yes, a little retarted but it's darn cute to me. The way he is darn cute to me. Whoever it is, he gets so excited and start jumping on the person he sees.

Imagine it

A robber comes to your house, and instead of him protecting the house, he starts jumping on him like he was humping him.

Talk about a dog being a good guard, and i'll punch you.

He is more like a companion, a brother, than a guard. So I'll leave it at that.

***

I took 4 pictures of him, all not successful in portraying his awesome cuteness. Therefore, i'm only posting 2 of him. His cuteness must be saved from all humanity or else it'll run out. Rubbish, really.

Cuteness right?

Dada gets super hyper after waking up, so imagine the trouble we'll have to go through to make him sleep again after we just move him to his "room". He's new, so need to teach him here and there.

He's cute!

Promises

2008-05-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

I terribly dislike it when one says this but do the other. Isn't it so infuriating?

Imagine this scenario,

Your prom starts tomorrow, you've told all your friends you have a dress ready so you don't have to buy for it anymore, so they don't worry.

Apparently, the dress you thought you'll have wasn't bought. The person actually promised you that she'll buy a dress for you, so you trust her whole-heartedly and not worry about you still not having anything to wear even on the last day.

Imagine that, isn't it infuriating?

Well, if it isn't to you, it is to me. If you're thinking it's just me being terribly petty and unreasonable, then think what you want.

Honestly, i'm incensed right now because I could have gone for a jog earlier but no my parents said that they'll go jogging with me, so it means I'll wait for them to come back. They did come back but shortly after ,they decide to go to the bank, and they still said they'll jog after they come back.

Guess what?

My mother chose not to because she's tired, i understand. I asked my father, and what? He wanted to watch this damn show first, so i probed again, to see if i can go jogging with him after. Apparently, i'm just bad-timing today because my mother answered me when i asked my father the second question. She said, "I have driving lesson early tomorrow, that's why."

God damn it! Why didn't you say so when you knew already! Why couldn't they let me down then already, before they went to the bank, so that I can still run. It was 8pm then. Now, it's already 20 min to 10pm. You think i'll still dare to go down and run by that track? When it's all dark and creepy? ALONE? Like hell i will!

I understand that we'll be off early tomorrow, yes i do. I just dislike the fact that my father won't fucking answer me properly. Why not straight away say, "I'm tired luh, i don't want to jog okay?" or "Tomorrow must wake up early, so don't want already". UGH!

I may sound petty right now, and probably unreasonable, but I cannot help it. I don't like being led on! I am a straight-forward person, so don't delay and just drop that bomb of an answer on me.

I haven't gone jogging for some time now because of the exam period, so in me, there's this blend of feelings - disappointment and anger.

I'm getting fatter by the minute!

I think I weigh 999 kg now! Worse than that 200 pounds beauty girl. If i sat on a human being, it'll immediately fall to the ground, crushed with all of its guts coming out of it's mouth and anus, and the only thing i'll be able to say as an apology is, "oops".

***

Right, another promise made to me by my mother this time.

We're going to SPCA tomorrow to adopt a dog, if possible.

I'm already doubting this, but i bet tomorrow i'll be disappointed. Hopefully it'll be the opposite, but i'm not putting much hope into it. Though i know i will be terribly disappointed.

MYE

2008-04-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

MYE = Mid Year Examination

Tomorrow is the official start of my mid year examination.

Let me see, from memory -because i'm too lazy to take the time table-, i'll type out my schedule.

The coming week:

Mon - English paper 1/CLB MT paper.

Tues - Social Studies

Wed - Geography

Fri - Math paper 1

The next week:

Mon - officially forgotten.

Tues - officially forgotten.

Wed - officially forgotten.

Thurs - Science paper 1, i think.

Fri - FNN paper.

& and that's it.

Oral, the tues after the 2 weeks.

See, how "prepared" i am already.

I'm still blogging now, about it.

Frankly, I haven't start revising yet. I know, I'm going to.............

Right, I won't. I work well under pressure. Plus, if i start revising a month earlier, i'll probably forgot everything i revised on, I know, i think i've tried that already.

Wish me luck!

Ps// Fazlyn, Adrian's buried 2 steps away from Richard's. I wrote on the wall, to remember the place as well.

Adrian, rest in peace.

2008-04-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

It’s horrible to see the grim reaper take a life right before your eyes

I'll miss you, terribly.

Quiz-es, eh?

2008-04-25T23:38:00.000-07:00

I just read Shirley's blog, she tagged me to do this.

7 facts/quirks about myself.

1. I'm physically and mentally weird, i think i'm from another time
where my weirdness is actually normal.

2. I simply love drama series. Korean, Japanese, and Taiwanese dramas, I
simply adore them.

3. Mineral water pawns fizzy drinks, anytime.

4. Aren't friends the best thing ever, apart from family and life?

5. Pink is the cutest colour, isn't it?

6. I love animals, especially those that can be domesticated to be
pets at households. Dogs?

7. I'm almost interested in everything, but for some, the time my interest
is staying aroused is quite limited. For some...

And I saw another quiz in her post, so i decided to do it as well.

QUIZ #2:

01. If you had a
chance to go out with the person you like and your favourite celebrity for the
whole day(separately), what would you do?

The
person i like? Go to some place I know we'll both enjoy, then. THE LIBRARY!
haha, right. Some themeparks or malls or something.
Celebrity: I don't know, go to some place secluded. I don't want to keep
running from paparazzi, you know.

02. How do you feel now?

Sleepy, it's 11.20pm now, and yes i know i
should go to bed now.

03. If you can fulfil one wish , what would
it be?

Be a photographer.

04. Who are you thankful to?

Fazlyn, Shirley, Mink, Kristen, Ryan, my family(brother&parents),
god.

05. Important wishes for now?

My mother to be healthy and my brother to come back from Taiwan,
safe.

06. If you can turn something in the past back , what would
it be?

Wash my face regularly and never stop being active,
duh.

07.What are your main priorities now?

to pass my O level for this year, as a top student again.
Hopefully.

08.What makes you happy?

Getting
A1s and hanging out with people.

09.What do you wanna change in
you?

All the things i'm inferior to, my fears, the paranoid
thoughts in my mind that always succeeded in hindering the progress of my
growth.

10. What song can represent your feelings now..?

Time Machine by The click five

11.What type
of person you hate most?

Super hypocrites; tells you they
like you but tells others the converse.

12. Are there anything
you wish to confess now?

I should really go to sleep now,
huh?

13. What is your definition of a dream house?

A large pool indoors - so that swimming naked is allowed - and big rooms
all with functioning air-cons. Big furnitures, with my future lovely boyfriend
lying on the water bed - I have an affair with - waiting for me to lie down
beside him.

*have an affair with not referring
to the literal meaning. I mean, i'm in love with the bed.

14. Who will you go to when you are feeling low one day?

Those I'm thankful to, actually. However, I think most probably,
Fazlyn.

15.What you hope to achieve?

To save
a reasonable amount of money so that i can bathe in money - literally.

16. What age do you wish to marry?

25 - 30

17.What do you regret most in your life?

Not
bothering to actually really study at home.

18.How many people
made you angry for the past few days?

1 to 2, i
think.

19. What would you do if you have done something terribly
wrong to your close friend?

Make it up to her, through many
ways I can.

20. Would you prefer to hang out with your
boyfriend/girlfriend or your friends?

Friends, because it's
inclusive of boyFRIENDs.

Right then, the point of my post.

My mother is hospitalized, and i was in the hospital for half of the day today, accompanying my mother. Really an interesting place - the hospital.

I took pictures, as usual. I'll post them up soon. I confess, i'm really tired right now. I want to sleep and jog tomorrow morning. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

Fnn.. again&my confession

2008-04-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in the computer lab doing Fnn again. I'm stuck at the page 6 of my research, and i don't think i'll be able to add more just by staring at it. Close, open, close, open.

Well, I'm feeling a little joyful today, or maybe i'm just high, anyway, back to my point, I have split personality.

At home, i'm this rowdy person that's wrecking havoc among the peaceful inhabitants in my house. Number one victim, my big brother (when he's home), then comes "Ate" bernadette (my friends know who), then my parents, then finally, my pets. (Enter evil laughter here).

Where as, in school, i'm this reserved girl. I don't noise about, I stay in a corner watching others noise about and indulge in that comedic act they're portraying. I listen to teachers and try to stay out of trouble all the time. I'm quiet and shy. Yes, i am.

See, the difference?

No?

You're blind!

Look, i'll put it in bullet point, for YOU to understand clearly.
READ properly.

In school,

Reserved
Quiet
Shy

At home,

Rowdy
Noisy
Annoying
Irritating

Now do you see?

GOOD!

Well, that's pretty much my confession. Guess what? I thought of this before i fell asleep, the reason why i had the time to think about blogging is because i'm insomniac. OH! another confession!

I can't sleep easily, unlike others. I have to toss and turn on my bed before i fall asleep, and the tossing and turning part usually take 1 hour. So basically, if i want to sleep at 11pm, i have to be lying on my bed by 10pm.

I hate being insomniac. I know some like, but i'm pretty sure there's a majority that don't. I think the doctors have created a cure for insomniac, right? I'm not sure, actually. If it's not true, take it that i'm bullshit-ing here.

I'm not sure if i have any readers huh? No comments, so i don't think i have any, 'cept my friends, who maybe visit my blog once every year. Sheesh, i'll postpone blogging! See, punishment! ...punishment? For who? No one even comes here, loser..

Let's all do the laughing Yoga, Hoho Hahaha (i'm not making this up)

Fnn

2008-04-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

It's such a torture to come to school on wednesday and friday, and other days with Fnn in it.

I know, i'm the one who chose Fnn in the first place so if i want to blame anyone, blame myself. However, I don't want to blame myself! I want to blame anyone, can? Why can't I?

Ah, never mind, i'll just rant it out here.

FNN is boring & I hate the coursework part.

Thank you.

And yes, i'm typing this one during my FNN period.

A birthday celebration

2008-04-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, friday 18 april'08, it was my form teacher's birthday, Miss ho, and well the class made use of the class fund and celebrated her birthday.

Here are the pictures before i go ranting on about it.

Erna&Miss Ho ^

Mathi ^

Right, the rest are the class photos and food and covers of pizzas'&cakes.
Well, it's pretty wicked isn't it?

I said, to some,
"I think whoever is a teacher of this kind of class is really lucky."
They nod, and agree with me.
"If i'm a teacher of this kind of class i'll tell them when my birthday is....,"
I think they laugh a little.
"..and on every month there's an occasion to celebrate about (for me)."
They laugh.

Ain added, "January, i said my first word. February, i was born that month. March, ...."
Yea, so every month, "my students" will celebrate something for me. Haha
The conversations were a little bit altered because i can't remember it specifically.

Anyway, i was kidding about it of course.

The celebration was a success, in my opinion, except that the malay boys that had to go to the mosque weren't present. That's why there is so little boys in the "only boys" pictures. They did save enough cake and pizza for them. So no worries.

Right then.

I had Food and Nutrition remedial afterwards.
Had to stay in the computer lab for 3 hours. I kind of lost track after 1 hour.
So, of course, I went on chattery after.
Sorry fazlyn, who was sitting beside me at that time.

Well, let's see. I told her that bangladash people should be ecstatic.
Why? because of these points.

a) Everyone know their "group name", a.k.a Bangladashi/Bangladash.
b) When they go in a public transport, and if they race their arms, people will leave, giving away free seats for them. Such respect huh?
c) They work overseas. You see, they're indians and they work in Singapore, not India. Where as, singaporeans work in Singapore, still in singapore. See! See the difference?

Now, don't you think Indians should be ecstatic about their status here? Plus, they are quite popular aren't they? Everyone knows them.

Haha, makes sense?
It doesn't?
Well, i don't always makes sense.

Fnn

2008-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm still not into this.
Everything always distract me during this time.
And yet, i'm intending to score an A1 on this.
Quite the impossible, much?

(add weird grunts and noises here)

I'm a mugger

2008-04-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

First i'll start with, my lovely pictures! I don't mean act-cute pictures of me or pictures of me and friends. I mean pictures! get it?

Right then. All taken with my 2 megapixel camera phone so i repeat, it will not be that professionally good. To you, it might even look 'sucky'.

O levels, I'm not getting any urge to study for it YET. Why's that? Because i always slack till the last minute, hence, i'm a mugger. Or maybe something like that.

I've been jogging every ~~day~~ night now, because of two reasons, a) I want to do well for my 2.4km. I don't want to disappoint myself further, since i tend to have high expectations of myself. b) I want to lose weight, NOW; immediately be thin! But i don't really do diets that well, I like to run sometimes AND I like to eat foods, all sorts. So for 2 months, i'm hoping to lose at least 5kg, since I don't exactly run 3 rounds every night, just one full round of the track 'connector' in sembawang.
*One full round = half from down the slope till the end and the other half end till up the slope. The rest after and before, i'm resting or doing warm ups.

I'm definitely going for poly, and not JC and probably not private school either since i'm not that well-off. I found out that both Ngee Ann and Singapore Poly has photography in it, ah.. such a tough decision.. not .. Singapore poly, it is. (Ngee Ann, i don't like that place, looks so destroyed.. it is going through renovations.. the last time i saw it at least..)

***

I think i judge things too fast sometimes. Yes, i know i said that i don't judge .. people, but do take note, i typed things.

Why i think that way? Well, i do. Especially in the library.

I JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, literally.

When i want to borrow a book to read from the library, I don't take a book out of the shelf and read the summary then decide whether i want it or not. I, however, do take a book out of the shelf and look at the cover and if it looks nice and eye-catching to me, I'll take the time and read the summary. The difference between the two is, the cover of the book must be able to attract my attention FIRST.

I don't know if others do that, but i do know of one that does. My best friend, fazlyn. Well, actually she and I have a lot of habits in common. HABITS, not our personality or attitudes.

That's what usually happen when i'm borrowing a book out of the library.

You know how library have sensors right? At the exit/entrance of the library?
I'm extremely indimidated by that. I had loads of experience where the sensor actually triggered the alarm and I was the only one that entered the place. Talk about the people that stared when that happened, ugh.

Lots of thoughts immediately went to my head. "They're gonna think i shoplifted! AH!!" "I'm going to be jailed for something I DIDN'T DO! AAAAAH!!!!" " I'm innocent! AHHH!!" "BLOODY SENSORS!! AAAAHH!!"

Not once did i think about what i would say if one did come to me to check my bag. I don't keep receipts, so i would be done for, and they'll think i stole it!

Yeah, but none of them really came to me. Luckily, or i would have pissed my skirt there and then.

See, i have perfectly good reason to be intimidated by those sensors. (:

2008-04-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

It takes two hands to clap.

I'm not satisfied!

2008-04-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

I was running on my treadmill just now - yes, i had one - and well it sort of broke. No, it isn't because of my weight although i think i'm (words size got too small to be seen by the naked eye so this replaced it). The treadmill was initially broken, but not to the state it is in now, and well I just made do with it and ran near the end of it. I thought everything would be fine until, *crack crack*, the floor supporting the conveyor belt - i'm running on - dropped and it felt so loose and scary. I had dozens of thoughts going in my mind, like what if the conveyor belt suddenly snaps and cuts me into two? or what if the conveyor belt suddenly snaps and wrapped itself around me causing me to lose balance and i'll end up falling to the ground, hitting my head first which causes me to die? Yes, i'm paranoid, my friends and family have said that. I can't help it, my train of thought immediately hops on to the express way and travel the thoughts until i reach my death and sometimes after-death, when such "scary" things occur.

I'm unique that way! Stop laughing, you mongoloids! You all should think like me, then we'd be so prepared for any disaster! ... suit yourself. (sticks out tongue)

Right, in my previous post i said, i'll post if something interesting occurred right? Well, this is sort of interesting.

Oh yes, my father officially took MY cpu to my family's maid agency. He needed it, so in repayment, my parents bought me and my brother a new cpu (windows vista, i think) each. I think it's really great because i'm sick of the old cpu, that's so so so so .................. so so old. It's old to me!

Oh yes, back to the title topic. I'm not satisfied, why? because i don't think i've run my daily 2.4km. Egh, it's irritating because i think my body never gave out enough sweat to make me think i've exercised for the day. Ugh! And i hate going down to run instead because a)it's an up and down track! Though it's good, but its up and down hills are sort of really high/steep. b)I'll lose my mood once i reached downstairs because my low self-esteem will kick in and stab me in the back, it'll force my body to go back upstairs and crawl under my bed.

Anyway, i have no choice, i have to run downstairs for tomorrow. I suppose i should make sure i run when there are still people running, so i won't feel alone and scared because at night, the bangalahs comes out! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! the horror.

It's a long post, READ IT ALL & COMMENT KAY? plsss? (:

**i'm not racist okay? I don't mean offence when i said the "bangalahs comes out". I just am freaked out at night though, when i run and see them sitting there, sometimes staring at something i don't know. their eyes are open so i think they're staring at something because the mouth are closed. They can't possibly telepathy-ing right? Idk too!

****yes, i'm not exactly on the slim side, but i'm not extremely over to the plum side YET. I'm making sure i don't reach the YET part though. (:

haha

2008-04-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

I've run out of constructive titles for my posts, so i ended up with just a 'haha'. Clever, right!
the loser's back...

Anyway, my left eye is swollen. Well, not the same as my right eye last year, so i can still go to school tomorrow. The doctor prescribed some eye drops and eye ointment for my eye. eye eye eye. .. well, it's getting better already so i'm totally fine.

What did i want to post about?
Oh yes, I've finally started to pack my awesome lovely cute 'prettaye sexaye' beautiful brown bag. Yes, i know i don't like brown so much but i never said i hate it. Though, pink colour would be nicer. It's a handbag, or shoulder bag? I don't know what they call it. It's not that big or small but just nice, well i find it nice at least. Some i suppose find it too small to use for school and some practically didn't care. :D Luckily, there's still some that care. (:

The next post, the post after this, will probably be done the next weekend because I don't know if i'll be free to post meaningless things. School's giving us, sec 5 students, lots of remedial and work. We, students, usually go home as late as 6. So practically, we spent our entire day in the school, and guess what? Tomorrow is one of the two most longest day ever! Well, at least all the remedial slot has been taken unlike Wednesday! ugh, I have to wait an hour, at least, before MY remedial start on Wednesday.

But if ever, there's something interesting that happened to me, i'm pretty sure i'll post a post about it immediately or at least when i can. (:

Till' next weekend, maybe.

yeay, a second post for the day

2008-04-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

This is the second post for the day, (: how about that? Isn't that great?
loser..

Well, I'm very happy to say, it was all just an infatuation. I'm done, over and finished with it. I can now happily type out that I can focus on my studies. (: HAHAHAHA

I can kiss 'love,infatuations' aside! Happy ~ ;D

Internet dating

2008-04-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not really into internet dating, making friends over the internet - I don't mind - but when it comes to dating, I don't like it. I like something real, and obviously internet dating isn't real unless you meet the man himself.

However, I did have my fair share of internet dating (not that i'm over 30 plus now, cause that's how i make it sound like) and well, it was really nerve-wrecking. To make sure you look great on your "sort of" first date, and to suddenly confess all the things you've been hiding so that he won't have that look of disappointment on his face (well, sort of won't have).

I don't know but I worry for those who do internet dating. They think they know the person but actually they don't. Well, some people that is, because apparently some people - like me - do tell the actual facts of themselves (some that weren't asked can stay hidden of course) and those "honest" people over the internet are a minority.

I actually bothered to look for cartoons to illustrate my point. That internet dating, isn't all that good.

Here's some:

See, you never really know how old is the person you're dating. Either he's too young or too old.

And if you actually turned to internet dating because you don't want to meet anyone superficial, but i'm telling you right now, you're wrong. There's still that numerous amount of people who are STILL superficial even in the internet dating 'world'. Why do you think they ask for pictures? To see how "pretty"/"handsome" you are. Obvious isn't it? If there are other reasons, please enhance this narrow thought of mind then. (:

Here's a picture to show you what i really mean:

Get it now? Good

Hence, internet dating isn't really that good because you won't know exactly whether you're talking to a "real" person or not.

I know offline dating could be hard for some, but i never said you can't make friends over the internet (just as friends) and meet them in real life, then you control it from there. If you want it to go further or not. Don't give out any very crucial details of yours till your gut trusts the people as well. And everyone, try not to be very superficial, first impressions are important but after that, it's the personality and characteristics that is most important.

This is not a sexist post, even though this post is mostly talking to the ladies, guys do take note of this too.

Unpredictable

2008-04-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

When one's desire to get hitch stops because that one finally realizes what should come first, something comes along and gets that one back onto that 'desire-train'.

It's really awful yet somewhat lovely. However, nothing definitely should be expected from out of this because it's unpredictable. What is? Life.

You don't know when you'll die because sometimes death just comes knocking on your door. So THAT, is the unpredictable part of life? NO! hell no! The unpredictable thing about life is life itself. You probably can plan out your future and some probably can predict it, but no one can actually really drive their life to the correct path without any mishaps or obstacles or whatnot. Life's path has a lot of clutters here and there. Awful, isn't it?

And right now, I'm currently being disturbed by one of THOSE obstacles. That irritating obstacle that causes your legs to turn jelly, your stomach to be filled with butterflies and your heat to be beating fast and slow at the same time.

Yes, that obstacle. It's not that it sucks ass or anything but it's just that I've finally decided to work for my O levels this year, and great, it had to block my path NOW. Why now? When I've finally managed to eliminate some of the distractions? Ugh.. Life is terribly unpredictable.

Like just two days ago or maybe many more days before, I said he didn't have any impact on me. 'Na-ta, nothing, zip, empty, zero' Oh, that's certainly such a contradiction, since right now there seem to be a little something there, after all.

I don't know if it'll grow any bigger, but I'm pretty sure this is not the one I really am waiting for. Or maybe i should not use 'pretty sure' just yet.

I'm not sure about anything regarding that matter though. I'm both engrossed in the whole thing and yet disturbed.

If you gave me a choice to choose between Him and YJ, I think i'd still choose the latter but my heart is indeed wavering. Maybe if he just .. treat me like a friend, I'd like to know what would be the outcome.

Funny!

2008-03-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

I had a lot of laughs in school today. Though always with the same person

***

Okay, Fazlyn and I recently watched a commercial. It was hilarious! At least to her and me.

Have you seen this Godrej dvd player before? No? You sure?

Well I must say they are really creative and comical to think of such a commercial to promote a dvd player. So far, that commercial is one of the "other" commercials that made me laugh like a mad woman. Of course, I had to share this joy with someone, so I did! With Fazlyn and my Brother! :D

Have none of you gone to youtube just to search for hilarious commercials? NO? ..shame..

Anyway, here's the commercial! See i'm saving you guys from the pain of having to search for it. :)

Isn't it funny? I'm amazed at how clever indians can get in getting such funny commercials.

:D:D give yourself a 'haha'!

An update

2008-03-23T17:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been posting, not because there's simply nothing interesting going on in my life, but because I completely have no mood to post it. Or to put it in a simpler way, I'm just lazy.

I had my cross country last thursday, 20 march 2008, and it was an alright scene. I didn't do well for it, I certainly didn't get into the top 100, let alone top 20 but at least i didn't stop for the whole run. ...Okay, i did... for 10 seconds.. I swear! It was only 10 seconds!! I counted~ :)

Anyway, my house didn't need me to win the cross country in order for it to be the champion among all the houses in the school. 'Cause it became champion this year without me winning anything at all! :) Can you sense my joy in my house becoming champion? ... Of course you can't sense it! I'm happy for my house AND a little disappointed i didn't do anything to help. But still, just read the "happy" parts.

***

I'm not the good girl type that will go home after the run, well, i'm just not that type that will pass up a chance to hang out after. I watched step-up 2 with fazlyn and enjoyed it. A little irritated at the start of the show though... because some "kids" behind me and fazlyn were in their own conversation for some time. A little irritating, especially after one of them said they knew when to shut up. Right... Do they really?

Before the movie, however, i terribly lost my mood. We were queing up to buy chicken rice from this stall, and well.. we were given bad service. Ugh! If i know karate I won't be that "chicken" to fight. REALLY! Service from some stalls nowadays are terrible. If fazlyn wasn't muslim, i wouldn't put up with them. Jurong point should really set up another muslim food centre area in it. ..... Never mind.... It's in the past~~

***

These past few days, I have been taking photographs....with my handphone's camera.. so it's not really that good. I always have to edit the photographs and make the lighting look nicer and well, blur the background and all. ..Anyway, here are some of my photographs. Do take note, that i'm only 16 and am using my handphone's camera so it might not be that nice. I'm most definitely not professional, but am hoping to be a photographer~ but we'll see. :)

That's all then. :)
I'll update another post real soon! :D

i've no interest

2008-03-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

I've lost my interest in doing school work.
I just feel like giving it up and just be the freeloader i am.
I don't why but i'm feeling rather depressed nowadays, when i take showers i sit in there just letting the water run over me.

Right now, i have these homework assignments of mine and i'm so reluctant to touch them, let alone finish them. And, i have to hand them up by tomorrow.

This cruel 'no-interest' phase-in-life-that-i'm-going-through is just brutish towards me. AH! Even blogging, i have no interest. I think i'm turning into this emo-tic bitch! and that's not great!!!

I'm sorry i have to leave

the march holidays

2008-03-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

The march holidays are over!!
unfortunately, my homework aren't done at all.

I have to do it after this post of mine.

Anyway, the march holidays are over in just one swift blink of an eye. AH!
It's really awful knowing that tomorrow there's school again, having to wake up at 5.30 in the morning is a torture!

I went out with my friends in the holidays.
Two days spent with fazlyn and one day spent with kristen.
Okay, I went out with TWO friends in the holidays.

I was supposed to go out with shirley and mink too, but didn't confirm the whole thing and i couldn't go out in the end. I was also supposed to go out with ryan but that guy, ughh, let's not go there. Also was supposed to go out with bairavi to go to church, but i couldn't make it as well. Was supposed to go out with brian too, but i didn't find the time to sms him saying i'm free. So basically i was sort of busy the whole week. I said SORT OF lah
So sorry to you guys! Except.. ryan~ he 'pangseh-ed' me. grr.

I kind of forgot my point for making this post. wait.. i just wanted to post.. didn't i?

FNN is such a horrible subject, I regret..

2008-03-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

choosing it for my 6th subject!

Having to do the coursework sucks big time. I'm in just no mood to do any coursework for this year, however I have to do it or else i'll never be able to go to polyclinic. I'll end up in ITE, the place i dreaded going to. Ugh, hope that don't happen.

I pray to gods that i'll pass my 5 subjects and not go to ITE.
A1, A2, B3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have nothing to say

2008-03-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have completely nothing to blog about.

I still get my regular ups and downs since after all, I'm having that time of the month now. It's a good thing it's during the holidays but tomorrow i have to go to school and i know I'll be wondering if it went through my undergarments and stained my skirt. I'm not that good at this stuff even though I'm a girl. Yes It's a sad thing of mine.

Anyway, I just wanted to update my blog even though I have none to say.

Something happened between them, and i keep having this feeling that i was pulled in though i know nuts about it. Ugh, maybe I'm just thinking too much. Hope things go fine anyway.

Things have been fine nowadays

2008-03-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

I pray every night hoping that the next day would be like a breeze to me. I want nothing to happen, nothing so drastic it'll make me cry, just nothing. Apparently, it works for me. It's been smooth for the past week. I just wanted to reach the weekends so that I can relax at home and not worry a thing.

Then again, my happiness or 'satisfied moods' are short-lived. Sadness is coming around the corner. I'm not going to further think about it, I'll be just me.

I do want to meet more people though, but I think i can only do that when I'm finally 'fine'(I'm the only one that knows what's this about).

hopefully the rest of the days for this year remains this smooth, I'll survive then.

only 2 more days

2008-03-05T19:50:00.000-08:00

There's only 2 days left before the school holidays ending this term starts. I don't think I can type out this elated feeling I have now just thinking about it. Yes, I dislike school because people in that school have hurt me deeply and I horribly want the time to go faster.

However, in contrast, I also want the time to go slower so that I can enjoy this year with Bernadette(my house's maid). Her contract ends next year April. NOT EVEN PASSING MY BIRTHDAY!!!! UGH!!!

When I get ignored by that some people I don't wish to talk about, I get hurt inside though I kept covering it up inside me telling myself it's fucking nothing. I think when somebody hurts me as bad as it was last Friday, I think I'll cry a motherfucking load of tears again. Unfortunately for me, no one really will understand the fact that I AM A FUCKING SENSITIVE GIRL. So, they go ahead and stab deeper seeing as the blood oozing out of my heart is oblivious to them. I'm just counting down the days till O level starts, then I'm sure to not talk much in school because I'll totally occupy my brain, myself with revisions.

UGH! It still hurts inside. Honestly, I have no idea what i came off as for people to treat me like this. Then again, there could have been some badmouthing that took place but I really shouldn't care. The more I care, the more it'll come back and spit at me on the face.

I really should try and make new friends, better ones that bothers to find my point of view as well.

school? it's more like this hell hole they made

2008-03-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a little stressed over school right now. So many work to do, yet so little time. Actually, well there were a lot of time for things to be done but I'm the master of all procrastination so naturally time ran out.

I'm totalling rushing up my 'phrase book' for english right now, and yet I'm on blogger blogging. What a great rolemodel, right? (audience applause in agreement) Haha! Right, like that will happen. 'Phrase book' for english? I don't even know whether I really had to pass it up by today, monday, but I didn't bring it so I can't really do anything. Hopefully, I still can pass it up tomorrow, tuesday.

Anyway, today was a breeze. Yes, I'm slowly moving on. It's really great. Hopefully tomorrow is another good day. I pray for it every night, anyway.

I'm not really that busy nowadays

hurt me once, twice and many more

2008-03-02T23:40:00.000-08:00

I'd start of with
I'm sorry
..though i have really no idea why I'm apologizing.

However, this would be the last time I am going to apologize when i never did anything at all. I'm sick of always asking whether people are mad at me or whether it's me. Yes, i do that and no, i didn't copy people. I'm like that by nature and so are the others. Anyway, as i was saying, I plan to chuck away that awful habit i incurred. If people choose to see me as the 'bad' guy, without taking my side of the story, then fine. I've done some thinking during this weekend, and I've thought it through. I don't get to live twice, so I better stop brooding of things that i have no control of and i better stop being so desperate and such. I've chosen to move on and be that strong person i claim to be.

I don't want to be this coward, that i am now. A friend said that I'm just finding myself now, that's why I'm in such a wreck. That friend, might be right. btw, i'm thankful towards her, she was there when i needed someone to cry to. If she wasn't, i'd probably have fallen into this pit of sadness i made myself. thanks again.

Yes, on Friday, I was depressed. Things, too personal to put in here.
I gave out bucketful of tears that day - when i reached home, let it flow on that cold hard floor i lay on while i cried. I think that was the first i cried so much about such matters. I may not have much friends in school, but I'm just 17, there are people that told me there were others that would come by in the future. I have to believe that, and move on and not care much about it.

Just a thing bothers me so much, I have no idea what i did to make such dislike me so. Then again, I think I would rather stay in this deluded world i created for myself so i wouldn't hurt further.

No, I am most certainly not trying to gain any pity. I am not that type, but only someone who bothers to understand me would get that to their head. I'll be good and forget it, there are others.

***

On a happier note because I'm not this depressed-moody bitch all the time,
I went to a dinner party with my parents, Bernadette and Girly. I enjoyed it and managed to forget my problem, until of course, I had to wait for the food to arrive.

Ugh, kill me.