Unpredictable

When one's desire to get hitch stops because that one finally realizes what should come first, something comes along and gets that one back onto that 'desire-train'.

It's really awful yet somewhat lovely. However, nothing definitely should be expected from out of this because it's unpredictable. What is? Life.

You don't know when you'll die because sometimes death just comes knocking on your door. So THAT, is the unpredictable part of life? NO! hell no! The unpredictable thing about life is life itself. You probably can plan out your future and some probably can predict it, but no one can actually really drive their life to the correct path without any mishaps or obstacles or whatnot. Life's path has a lot of clutters here and there. Awful, isn't it?

And right now, I'm currently being disturbed by one of THOSE obstacles. That irritating obstacle that causes your legs to turn jelly, your stomach to be filled with butterflies and your heat to be beating fast and slow at the same time.

Yes, that obstacle. It's not that it sucks ass or anything but it's just that I've finally decided to work for my O levels this year, and great, it had to block my path NOW. Why now? When I've finally managed to eliminate some of the distractions? Ugh.. Life is terribly unpredictable.

Like just two days ago or maybe many more days before, I said he didn't have any impact on me. 'Na-ta, nothing, zip, empty, zero' Oh, that's certainly such a contradiction, since right now there seem to be a little something there, after all.

I don't know if it'll grow any bigger, but I'm pretty sure this is not the one I really am waiting for. Or maybe i should not use 'pretty sure' just yet.

I'm not sure about anything regarding that matter though. I'm both engrossed in the whole thing and yet disturbed.

If you gave me a choice to choose between Him and YJ, I think i'd still choose the latter but my heart is indeed wavering. Maybe if he just .. treat me like a friend, I'd like to know what would be the outcome.